Most people think childhood trauma is something that stays in the past.
However, in reality, early experiences continue to shape how many of us think, feel, and relate to others, often without us realizing it.
It’s important to recognize that childhood trauma doesn’t only include experiences like physical or sexual abuse. It can also involve emotional neglect, chronic criticism, bullying, growing up around conflict, losing a caregiver, living in an environment where you never truly felt safe, and countless other unique situations and experiences. Research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) has shown that these early experiences can have lasting effects on both mental and physical health across our lifespans (Felitti et al., 1998; Shonkoff et al., 2012).
Here are five signs that childhood trauma may still be affecting you today.
1. You Have a Hard Time Trusting People
Do you often expect people to disappoint you or leave you?
If you grew up in an environment where love, safety, or support felt unpredictable, trusting others is likely difficult for you. Research on attachment styles suggests that the relationships we have as kids shape how close we’re willing to get to others and how secure we feel in our relationships as adults (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016). Many people work in therapy to change their relationship patterns and achieve healthier relationships. This helps to improve communication and get needs met without interpersonal suffering.
2. Your Emotions Feel Bigger Than the Situation
Have you ever thought, “I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t stop?”
Trauma often leaves our brains on high alert, making it easy for us to interpret everyday situations as threatening. According to the American Psychiatric Association (2022), trauma can affect emotional regulation long after the original event has ended. That’s like having your alarm go off every time you cook eggs, even though there is never a fire.
The good news is that emotional regulation is a skill that can be strengthened with evidence-based treatments, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).
3. You Put Everyone Else First
If saying “no” feels uncomfortable or you often worry about disappointing people, it may be more than your desire to be kind.
Many people who experienced childhood trauma learned that keeping others happy helped them avoid conflict, and therefore helped them feel safer. While that strategy may have been protective growing up, it can become exhausting in adulthood and make it difficult to recognize or effectively communicate your own needs.
4. You Always Feel “On Edge”
Adults who experienced childhood trauma often describe feeling like they can never fully relax.
Do you startle easily, have trouble sleeping, or feel like you’re constantly waiting for something bad to happen? If so, you’re not alone. Researchers believe this happens because prolonged childhood stress influences how the brain and nervous system respond to perceived danger (Shonkoff et al., 2012). Bodies learn over time. With chronic interpersonal trauma, your body continues reacting like it needs to protect you, even if the true danger has passed.
5. You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns
Do you find yourself in similar unhealthy relationships over and over again? This may be familiar, even if it’s not comfortable.
In our childhoods, we learn to repeat known patterns, even if those patterns aren’t healthy. This doesn’t mean you’re choosing difficult relationships on purpose, it means your brain is relying on old survival strategies that once helped you cope.
The encouraging news is that these patterns can be reworked through many effective trauma therapies. Evidence-based therapies such as EMDR, CBT, and DBT have been shown to help many people process traumatic experiences, improve emotional regulation, and build healthier relationships (Cuijpers et al., 2020).
Healing Is Possible!
If this list feels familiar, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have PTSD or another trauma-related disorder. Many mental health conditions share similar symptoms, and everyone’s story is different.
What matters most is whether these experiences are impacting your daily life. Ask yourself: would you prefer to think, communicate, feel, or behave differently in your relationships?
Healing isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about understanding how your past may be influencing your present and learning new ways to move forward. A trauma-informed therapist can help you make sense of those patterns and support you in building a life that feels safer, healthier, and more connected.
The experienced clinicians at Trauma Therapy CA are here to help you. If you’d like to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation, please click here or call us at 949-943-1877.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Association.
Cuijpers, P., van Veen, S. C., Sijbrandij, M., Yoder, W., & Cristea, I. A. (2020). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing for mental health problems: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Depression and Anxiety, 37(7), 615–629.
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., et al. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Shonkoff, J. P., Garner, A. S., & Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. (2012). The lifelong effects of early childhood adversity and toxic stress. Pediatrics, 129(1), e232–e246.
Relevant Book Recommendations
Burke Harris, N. (2018). The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. Flatiron Books.
